Spanish-American Naval Dialogue

This is reported to be an actual conversation on navigation channel 106 off
the coast of Spain.

Spanish Radio: This is A853 In order to prevent a collision‚ please
change your course 15 degrees to the North. You are 25 sea
miles away but your direction will bring you on collision course
with us.

American Radio: You should change your course 15 degrees to the South.

Spanish Radio: Negative‚ I repeat‚ you should change course 15
degrees to the North.

American Radio: This is the American Ships Captain: You immediately
change course 15 degrees to the South.

Spanish Radio: Your request is not practical or possible. If you dont
want to collide with us‚ immediately change course 15 degrees
to the North.

American Radio: (Loud authoritarian voice) This is the Captain of the
USS Lincoln aircraft carrier speaking. I have 2 escort cruisers‚ 4 submarines and
fighter planes on the ready. I am not requesting‚
I am ordering you to change course 15 degrees to the South‚ if
not I will take forceful action. Immediately change your course!

Spanish Radio: This is Juan Alcantaro speaking‚ Commander here. We
are two people. We have a dog‚ 2 bottles of beer for the evening
and a canary. As we reported‚ this is A583 which happens to be
a coastal lighthouse with very little ability to change course. You
did not mention landing craft but if you have them and continue
the same course‚ you should put them at the head of your fleet
as you mount the rocks in front of our lighthouse. But again I
urge you to change course 15 degrees to the North.

American Radio: (Silence‚ then meekly) OK‚ thank you.

__________________________

You will Never walk alone...

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