Interesting random thought I had today
Okay, take two people in a road traffic accident. Both are severely injured. One screaming in agonizing pain due to a horrific broken leg. The other seamingly okay except for some cuts and bruises, but this one is very silent, not saying a word, not screaming in pain. Fairly calm looking from the outside. The paramedic comes along and immediately tends to the one with minor injuries instead of the more obvious casualty. The reason, he says, is that the guy with the broken leg is well aware of the situaution, indicated by the pain he is in. He is reacting quite noticably to the pain by screaming in agony. The one not saying a word on the other hand is almost certainly in shock, probably not aware of his injuries, maybe even on the verge of unconciousness.
The comparision that came to mind when thinking of this is,
...why can a paramedic immediately recognise the potential dangers of the guy with "silent injuries" yet we, as friends, family etc..don't seem to notice when someone of usually talkative nature is silent or has something buried deep inside them. We naturally react more to anyone with a deep problem if they're making a huge song a dance over it. Is it just me or is there something wrong with that whole picture?
To me, anyone making a song and dance about a supposedly deep lying problem is well and truly aware of the complexities of it. Someone with these same problems buried deep inside them but who are silent about them, no-one seems to notice or care. The very least they (family, friends) should do is look out for them but they don't. Thjs leaves the one with the problem with no choice but to keep a brave face and put on the fake smile. This, in time, can be really damaging.
Any thoughts?
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And people wonder why they're so shocked when someone they know commits suicide. Someone gets cancer, hell, sympathy all around (no disrespect by the way) but what I find so hypocritical is that clinical depression is NEVER talked about. People are so unaware and/or unwilling to talk about it or learn something about it yet this is something that is more destructive to people's lives than cancer, AIDS/HIV and drug addiction put together.
You're so right Peter.
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♥´¯`♥Meow♥´¯`♥
I am sure paremedics are trained to know the difference when people are silent and when people are screaming out and who to treat first ...
But i hear what u saying and some people jus silent to the pain and they are the most at risk .....
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Every blade of grass has its angel that bends over it and whispers, 'Grow, grow.'
people who truly suffer from depression or other underlying problems normally do not "announce" it to everyone and hence the problem goes unnoticed for a long time. most family and friends have a vague notion when something is wrong but when they ask the person what is wrong and the person says that everything is alright, they take that for granted. personally i believe it's because even if they care for that person, they can't bear to face the problem and admit to themselves that something is wrong. for example they can't admit to themselves that someone they care about is suicidal because "suicide only happens to other people."
anyway that's just my opinion. anyone else have anymore opinions?
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*Shit happens*
And people wonder why they're so shocked when someone they know commits suicide. Someone gets cancer, hell, sympathy all around (no disrespect by the way) but what I find so hypocritical is that clinical depression is NEVER talked about. People are so unaware and/or unwilling to talk about it or learn something about it yet this is something that is more destructive to people's lives than cancer, AIDS/HIV and drug addiction put together.
As someone who suffers with depression and the bundle of shit that comes with it, i agree with what you're saying.
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"Watch your step by the crowd of fanatics, while they kill in the name of applied mathematics"
people who truly suffer from depression or other underlying problems normally do not "announce" it to everyone and hence the problem goes unnoticed for a long time. most family and friends have a vague notion when something is wrong but when they ask the person what is wrong and the person says that everything is alright, they take that for granted. personally i believe it's because even if they care for that person, they can't bear to face the problem and admit to themselves that something is wrong. for example they can't admit to themselves that someone they care about is suicidal because "suicide only happens to other people."
anyway that's just my opinion. anyone else have anymore opinions?
I don't think that most people take it for granted that everything is fine. Rather they close the subject because either (like you said) they can't face the problem themselves, or to prevent that the one with the problem closes himself entirely and not even ask for help when he thinks he's ready for that.
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Follow the cloud that looks like a sheep!
Very often I find myself thinking how it's such a shame that people always seem to pay much more attention to physical pain (to obvious, visible, physical wounds and pain) than to emotional pain. And in my opinion emotional pain of the heart and soul is so much worse than any sort of physical pain.
I've always thought that I would always much rather suffer any type of worst agonizing physical pain for a week than to go through emotional pain and depression for only a day.
Emotional pain is invisible and chosen to be ignored and suppressed by so many people, but it's the most self-disastrous form of pain.
It is incredibly sad and so unfair that when we are in need of help the most, people around us see it the least. It is incredibly sad that when our cries and shouts seem to be the loudest from within us, inside of our heart, they are so often like only a whisper or complete silence to everyone around us.
That is one of the most unfair facts of this life.
I agree with Seagull_J_L
It is often the physical pain that seems to be noticed when somethings wrong. Its like when someone has a physical illness that short term or long term will effect them physically are sometimes the only thing that others notice. The fact of how the person is dealing with the problem inside can often not be noticed.
Say someone with a broken leg or somethin. It would be obvious to friends and family of the persons physical condition but for the person emotionally there could be much more goin on. If the person was very independent they might not like the sudden change of having to rely on somebody else for help with something. Maybe they have to change their lifestyle for a while, giving up playing a sport they enjoy or mayb just getting out and seeing friends might become more difficult. All these could add up to a person gettin really frustrated and stressed about things and due to nobody noticing this, they might end up with more emotional problems than physical.
That's a very interesting thought. Now that you've said it, I realized that in a way, I'm kinda like the people who do not notice. I usually look out for loved ones who show the world that they are having problems, but not really mind those who are keeping quiet about it. I don't know, I guess I just don't notice. It's not that I don't care, I really just don't notice.
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We're all grown ups now. When did that happen? And how do we make it stop?
Having suffered from depression, I can tell you that I didn't want anyone to know. I was in my own little world. My own little world because I would sleep most the time, didn't have the energy to do anything, and the last thing I wanted was conversation. My stepsister committed suicide and she was only 37 years old. We didn't see it coming and usually you don't. I once went out with a guy that said he was going to kill himself if I stopped seeing him, and at the time my father was very ill and I am sure he wanted to live as much as I wanted him to live. I told the guy if he was stupid enough to want kill himself, to go ahead, as I just wanted to deal with the want to live. Most people that announce their depression, or say they are going to kill themselves are attention seekers. I can't be bothered with people having a "pity party" all the time.!
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THE CHRISTIAN LIFE WITHOUT PRAYER IS LIKE COMPUTER HARDWARE WITHOUT THE SOFTWARE!!!!!
I agree, the squeaky wheel gets the oil. Luckily, my father and brother (who also deal with depression) know that when I get quiet - it's time to start asking questions. I am normally a very outgoing, talkative person and when I shut down and shut up - they know something's wrong.
Because I know how myself and my family react to things, I try to keep a look out for others who "draw in" on themselves when hurting and am known to be quite persistent in digging out problems that they probably don't want (but need) to talk about.
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Of course I'm out of my mind - it's dark and scary in there.
This happens to me all the time.
My main problem is that whenever I'm depressed or upset, I'm always happy and cheery on the outside. Its not on purpose, it just happens. Yet because of this I never get to talk about my problems.
It angers me that people who 'say' they are depressed get all the sympathy, although if you are making such a big deal about it then you obviously aren't. It's just attention seeking.