Mate I'm in exactly the same predicament. When you find a solution could you let me know too? It's even harder for me because I'm the 'baby' of her 3 children plus I'm a girl so she doesnt think i can cope alone. Last year I had to leave a job I loved because it involved being away from home for weeks at a time and the amount of hassle I got from home was unbearable. I wish parents could see sometimes how selfish they are. It's not fair that we should be made to feel guilty.. made to put our dreams and futures on hold because they can't just accept we've grown up and let go.

It's hard to leave especially when you know your mother/father doesn't like the idea-- and that it would make them feel sad. However, you should think about yourself as well. You've been dreaming to work abroad for years, yes? Then, pursue the dream. Don't let the opportunity pass, because as they said, "Opportunity knocks but once." So, if I were you, I'd go ahead with working abroad. I'm sure your mother will understand. If she loves you, she'd let you go.

Of all the strategems, to know when to quit is the best.

Since our birth, our mothers and fathers realize that there will come a time when we will have to leave and go on our own. Sometimes its close to home and sometimes farther. This letting go feeling is the worst to many. But in the end, the happiness of our children is always our utmost desire. I was the youngest and when I left home, it was 8 hours away. My mum was devestated, but she told me if I were to live around home and be miserable, because a lack of job, etc...she would never forgive herself for making me stay...Its best to sit her down and tell her what truly would make you happy, saying that you will be in touch with her daily either by msn, little phone call or texting...(at the start) then when she gets used to the idea of knowing you are not always around, it can be every couple of days...(its a weaning process). Of course she will be upset for you leaving, but we all have to live our lives for ourself. Your parents had their chance, now it's yours.. never have regrets, its the hardest to live with...

The un-inspirational behavior of others determines our willingness to believe their words. Their life and truths then become like wind, collecting dust in its passing. -lea

If you had a choice to be considered sensitive or insensitive, which would you pick? -lea

Dude ...... kick some dutchie moms butt ....

You have to let your mom know that it is your choice and your life.
You can't put your life on a hold because your mom might be upset ......

You know me well enough to know that i just made that choice and i can tell you my parents and my sister don't really like it but they are grown up enough to know that i did what makes me happy.

Yes it might be hard but if you decide to take up this job get your mom involved in it. Ask her for help and advice ..... even if you don't need it ....
Show her on google maps where you are going ....
Make sure she knows that MSN isn't the only way to have contact with her ..... use yahoo ... email ..... photobucket to put online pics in to show her how you are doing .....find out the cheapest way to call to where ever you are ...
Spend as much time as you can with her before she leaves.

She just only might need to have the feeling that eventhough you leave she is still important.
Let her know you understand that it isn't easy on her but that this choice makes you happy.
And maybe .... really maybe if you tell your mom she might say :" I have always known that you would leave the country one day seeing you have dreamed about this for a long time. "

As long as your not sure if your taking up this job you shouldn't worry about it but if you feel the need to talk about it you know you can find me here or you might see me in the chat.

Rhiannon

p.s. je zult je weg hierin wel vinden maar als je een vriend nodig hebt om hierover te praten met eigen ervaring dan staat mijn deur altijd open.

Intelligence plus character. That is the goal of true education. ( Martin Luther King jr. )

from the movie Stump

Thanks for the advice, and confirming what I already new.

And Rhian, make sure the coffee is ready!

Carni goes Caribbean!

Janus

Do you literly mean coffee as your coming to this country or do you mean the coffee as a matter of speaking ??

Rhiannon

Intelligence plus character. That is the goal of true education. ( Martin Luther King jr. )

from the movie Stump

what Rhia said and what! you are coming to Canada?

now you can drive to Florida

Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack, a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in.

~ Leonard Cohen ~

Yes Janus,,you definately have to visit Bluma,,,I heard she is a great cook,,,I'm looking forward to it myself..

The un-inspirational behavior of others determines our willingness to believe their words. Their life and truths then become like wind, collecting dust in its passing. -lea

If you had a choice to be considered sensitive or insensitive, which would you pick? -lea

Guys guys take it easy.

I just told him that if he ever needed to talk he knows where to find me.
And he said put the coffee ready which is an expression

I just ment to say do you literly mean coffee in my house in canada or coffee in a matter of speaking.

I dont know if he is coming to Canada or not.
If he is than he will let everybody know who he feels need to know.

* hugs Janus * im so sorry for starting a sort of gossip i dint mean to do that

Intelligence plus character. That is the goal of true education. ( Martin Luther King jr. )

from the movie Stump

Oh,,,I am just teasing..I am sure he will be happy wherever he goes...It is nice to know, if he decides on Canada,,,he has friends and if he decides US he also has friends...(that can cook...) lol ...

The un-inspirational behavior of others determines our willingness to believe their words. Their life and truths then become like wind, collecting dust in its passing. -lea

If you had a choice to be considered sensitive or insensitive, which would you pick? -lea

No, I'm not going to Canada, they only have snow and lumberjacks there. And unlike someone I know, I don't have a thing for lumberjacks!
And I wouldn't like Bluma's veggie food either, I am allergic to carrots!

Carni goes Caribbean!

Spread your wings, cut the apron strings, sure your mom will find it hard at first that her little boys have gone. Promise her a trip the following year and a grandchild the year after and run…

PS Bluma's cooking is prepacked microwave stuff so I have been told...

Carni goes Caribbean!

hmmmpth pre packaged my arse, I get my vegetables out of cans so you english people will feel right at home.
nice and mushy!!!

No we go to the farmers market or in a pinch frozen,

I knew you were thinking about south america, I was just going with the flow.

Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack, a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in.

~ Leonard Cohen ~

So then that means your vegetables are crisp!

Arend, Your mom will be sad, but she will go on she did with your brother right? and yer baby mama might be where you are heading.

sorry i hang around kids too much (:

Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack, a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in.

~ Leonard Cohen ~

Straight from the ground, to the sink, to the table and 100% organic or is that orgasmic?

Janus_ wrote:

No, I'm not going to Canada, they only have snow and lumberjacks there. And unlike someone I know, I don't have a thing for lumberjacks!
And I wouldn't like Bluma's veggie food either, I am allergic to carrots! :D

Marc's reaction is im not a lumberjack ANYMORE .... but my dad and i used to be

Nice going i had a lot of explaining to do here in the cold snowy mountains of Canada

And @ Bluma .... i will give you some yukkie dutchie recepies you can cook for Janus like ..... flowercollie and brussels sprouts ..... if he is allergic for carrots he might like that

Intelligence plus character. That is the goal of true education. ( Martin Luther King jr. )

from the movie Stump

okay you are all invited for orgasmic cabbage

but i still want to know what your plans are former butcher boy.

Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack, a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in.

~ Leonard Cohen ~

rhiannondc wrote:

And @ Bluma .... i will give you some yukkie dutchie recepies you can cook for Janus like ..... flowercollie and brussels sprouts ..... if he is allergic for carrots he might like that

Carni goes Caribbean!

I'll send bluma the recepie's but i don't know what " groen met witte is "

And just tell me what you wanted to say in Dutch .... hardly anyone can read that and you dont have to delete it yourself

I just can't help falling for a big guy with rough working hands and all .

And Janus if it is only for a half year your mom might take it less hard though. Cause your coming back home right ??? if not than tell her while you are there that way you can always hang up the phone if she gets mad

Intelligence plus character. That is the goal of true education. ( Martin Luther King jr. )

from the movie Stump

@ Rhian: unfortunately 6 months was the best I could apply for. I wish I had paid more attention in school. But after that I can always take a chance with another company that does have year round possibilities.
For the rest, I'll send you a gb message.

Carni goes Caribbean!

its always the hardest for the mothers to cope with the loss of her children. i use the word 'loss' because ask any mom and she will say that for her it is a loss. but then how long can one be tied to mum's apron strings. one has to move on. not an easy task but the umbilical cord has to be severed irrespective of the pain. the pain now will be much less than what will be if such severence does not take place.

You must follow your dreams, not your Mums dreams. You will grow with the experience and so will she. Please dont wait until its too late, then you will be sad and possibly even ill in later life.
Travel and Independence are valuable teachers. Go and enjoy!

Update: I didn't get the job I was after, but other ideas have come up.

Carni goes Caribbean!