I don't think christian relationships are any different from non-christian. It's just one more thing you both have in common. All start off the same and continue based on compatibility.

When we resolve to hurt, this is when we resolve to fail.

The best thing a Xian can do is marry/cohabit with an atheist, if nothing else it promotes communication and the root to a good relationship is communication.

"To assert that the earth revolves around the sun is as erroneous as to claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin." - ? For the answer visit my profile.......

lol, I guess they wouldn't have to spice up their communication or relationship. I imagine getting quite heated at times...

When we resolve to hurt, this is when we resolve to fail.

u decide before u get into a relationship. In fact God would tell u, Pray about the situation before u get into the relationship. A way that u can figure out a lot about your potential bf/husband look at what he's obsessed with.

Haha, Leaa, no problems with heated little chat’s, the making up more than compensates

"To assert that the earth revolves around the sun is as erroneous as to claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin." - ? For the answer visit my profile.......

I think theres not much difference, except maybe the sex before marriage thing.

"If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created." - Roger Simon

WOW.... the ignorance is just amazing here...

I'm not trying to offend anyone in here, unless you find being wrong about something offensive.

For a christian... Marriage is just a physical (on this earth) "parable" if you will of what your relationship with christ is supposed to be. Everyone has a choice... but as you well know, you cannot serve two masters. You see... once you choose to be with someone, that is a commitment until death. (physical) It doesn't matter about the compatibility profile you found on e-harmony or whatever... it's simply how much integrity you have to stand firm in your choices. Back in the old testament, you didn't have people running around dating people getting to know them and decided whether or not they would pull the plug... they were going to marry who they were determined to marry at their birth, plain and simple. For all of those who want to claim that the principles of what made that WORK do not apply today because times have changed... i have to say, that is a SAD foundation to stand on. Times have changed because of the DETERIORATION in the prevalence of these principles. And look at the divorce rate. (something that Christ is EXPRESSLY against)

A man is to behave a particular way with a particular state of mind/emotion and attitude, and a woman is to behave a particular way with a particular state of mind/emotion and attitude in a marriage. God does not make a PARTICULAR partner for each person... in fact, he leaves you with a choice of whether or not you even take a partner (refer to paul's account of which is better, a wife or no wife)

All that being said, it is better to be married to only Christ (if you are strong enough to pull that off) but it is ok to be with ONE WIFE(If you still need to learn what your relationship is to be like with Christ, and want to pass your seed) Christianity is in the pits these days, and the leaders are simply not providing the proper leadership based on the ULTIMATE fundamentals of the faith. (I.E. the message of Christ) Instead the leaders create confusion by over complicating things and then making a huge mess of God's Word, and now just about NO ONE actually has an understanding of what a REAL Christian is really supposed to be.

I will take questions and explain more about Christian relationships, but only to those who really want to understand what God's Word has to say about it.

~ PSYKO ~

First of all, there is no ignorance here, or no being wrong among the people who are posting here, but only the expression of a wide range of opinions, which you might disapprove, but you have to respect. Thank you for taking the time to write down what you consider to be the scheme of a Christian relationship, but I'm sure a lot of Christians over here would disagree on many of the points you underlined.
If even the leaders of Christianity, as you say, fail to spread what, according to you, is the real Christianity, then why should we take your words for The Truth?

\"There is no way to happiness...Happiness is the Way...\"(Buddha)

The meaning of the word CHRISTIAN is "Christ Like"

basically... you can soften the faith all you want to and that's only going to weaken it... don't worry, that has been going on for centuries, it's not a new concept. the truth is simple... God is consistent, and his message is consistent.. if you disagree, then you disagree... but the fact it... I'm not talking here to dictate the lives of anyone... basically... I'm here to be of some assistance to anyone seeking assistance. While you are at it, dear Christian, study up on the church of Laodecia in the book of Revelations. Now, it's up to you, do you want to continue to be as the church of Laodecia? I would think that it would defeat the purpose of being Christian, but that's just MY opinion. Some people have other reasons... for instance... the Catholics in the beginning decided to be Christian for purely evil reasons...

I don't know everything that there is to know about being a Godly person, and living a Godly lifestyle, but Marriage is one area that I do have a good grasp on. If anyone has any questions and wants BIBLICAL answers... please PM me with those questions... these public forums seem to be a haven for deception and sabotage. (if you know what I mean)

~ PSYKO ~

Aye, we evil atheists are always ready to boil poor innocent babies and eat them...watch out, all of you!

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? --Woody Allen

Just for curiosity, psycho? Are you married and for how long? Are you Christian?

When we resolve to hurt, this is when we resolve to fail.

I am not Christian, but being married to Christ is one disturbing vision to me. I guess he'd only do the missionary, too.

No seriously, I think marriage as such is rather lovely. I wouldn't marry though. I just believe the values of being together forever have been proven almost (!) impossible. I mean marriage has been created to bond two people in economical, private organisation to reproduce. The picture of marriage as we know it has been created at a time when "forever" meant "20 - 30" years. And not "40 - 50 years and above". Simply because the life span was shorter and the need for children more urgent to be provided at old age. I feel like marriage is a wonderful thing to show one's love for each other, but regarding the duration of an average marriage this kind of lost its worth to me. Also, I prefer staying together just for fun. That's more honest to me and guarantees that the person stays with me for liking me (of course exceptions exist) and not because we're officially pronounced to be together.

The economic anarchy of capitalist society as it exists today is, in my opinion, the real source of the evil. We see before us a huge community of producers the members of which are unceasingly striving to deprive each other of the fruits of their collective labour. I am convinced there is only one way to eliminate these grave evils, namely through the establishment of a socialist economy, accompanied by an educational system which would be oriented toward social goals.
~ Albert Einstein

Errata corrige: these public forums ARE a haven for every belief. There is no deception and sabotage to express disagreement about other opinions, and no, not even for your opinions, Psyko, which are no better than the rest of us ones.

\"There is no way to happiness...Happiness is the Way...\"(Buddha)

I am really sick of this! All I do is ask one question about a religion and I have people coming from every direction giving their "opinion" of what the "correct" answer is when all everyone does is confuse you and you're left thinking not one person has helped me.

It's as if you all use these opportunities to just have an argument, and it broadens beyond my question and becomes just a debate about beliefs.

I know you all want to defend your religions and beliefs but you can just create a seperate post for that instead of waisting others' time. If you are going to comment then please just answer my question and forget about what the person before you has said.

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in love, in life, in faith and in purity."
- 1 Timothy 4:12

Are we supposed to have pity now? Well let me say this, have fun with whomever you want as long as you truly have feelings for them. Do not be hasty and be sure they have feelings for you too. Do not cling onto your relationship, if you feel like it's over, end it. One day you will find the one and it will show, because you will never have the feeling like it's ending. Satisfied?

The economic anarchy of capitalist society as it exists today is, in my opinion, the real source of the evil. We see before us a huge community of producers the members of which are unceasingly striving to deprive each other of the fruits of their collective labour. I am convinced there is only one way to eliminate these grave evils, namely through the establishment of a socialist economy, accompanied by an educational system which would be oriented toward social goals.
~ Albert Einstein

The wisdom of the world is foolishness to God... remember that.

~ PSYKO ~

She just thanked me for my honesty. ^^ I guess that's all she needed. A little folishness to let her enjoy her life in a responsible way. Not in a Christ-I-love-you!-way. You can do that. I guess you're good at it too.

The economic anarchy of capitalist society as it exists today is, in my opinion, the real source of the evil. We see before us a huge community of producers the members of which are unceasingly striving to deprive each other of the fruits of their collective labour. I am convinced there is only one way to eliminate these grave evils, namely through the establishment of a socialist economy, accompanied by an educational system which would be oriented toward social goals.
~ Albert Einstein

I feel sorry for you.

~ PSYKO ~

I feel sorry for you too. Agreement for once.

The economic anarchy of capitalist society as it exists today is, in my opinion, the real source of the evil. We see before us a huge community of producers the members of which are unceasingly striving to deprive each other of the fruits of their collective labour. I am convinced there is only one way to eliminate these grave evils, namely through the establishment of a socialist economy, accompanied by an educational system which would be oriented toward social goals.
~ Albert Einstein

I'm not saying I completely agree with what you said but I did thankyou for just giving me an answer instead of arguing with a commenter. I thanked you for your straight forwardness. I do not want to be foolish. Even for just a short time. Believing that getting out in the world, doing what ever I want to do to just "get it out of my system" then be wise is foolish! Everyday of my life is important, I'm not going to think "okay today no rules apply" because I will always be accountable for my actions, no matter what.

I am asking for help now, instead of making the mistake and having consequences then having someone say to me "Why didn't you ask me before? I could have helped you, I could have saved you from all of this."

I don't want to regret any part of my life, even if it was just a day that I chose to be foolish.

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in love, in life, in faith and in purity."
- 1 Timothy 4:12

haven
a shelter serving as a place of safety or sanctuary

Oh but sorry I'm not a Christian so the topic question doesn't apply to me, I just wanted to spend a bit of time in this "haven" feeling safe and secure.

Yikes, Anna I just checked your age on your profile, Girl what are you doing even thinking of marriage/relationship at your age, 16 is a time to explore life and I don’t mean the wild thing, I mean life in general, new friendships, new experiences , stretching if not cutting the apron strings, learning what it means to be a young adult.

"To assert that the earth revolves around the sun is as erroneous as to claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin." - ? For the answer visit my profile.......

Yep, total agreement with Meerkat, I think in light of your age and your whole dating life still ahead, your best bet whether a Christian or not, is to get to know everyone very well before making any kind of commitment. Time is certainly on your side. That perfect "one" might be 10 years away, please don't rush life...

When we resolve to hurt, this is when we resolve to fail.

I don't want to sound difficult... but I'm gonna be anyway.

Leaa and meekrat I can't beleive what I'm hearing from you two. It's like parents from another age telling thei kids they are too young to even think about having sex, only to have them go off and bonk each other silly anyways.

I think it's fantastic that a young girl is giving serious thought to something that will effect the rest of her life, because it doesn't matter if you are 16, 26 or 66, if you don't think things through properly you can find yourself making one hell of a big mistake and marrying the wrong person for the wrong reasons.

So anna101... I think you're wnoderful... now will you marry me?

You are totally misunderstanding my meaning. I find many teenagers are trying to grow up too fast. Marriage should be the furthest ideas, at this age. When I mean get to know people it is on a personality and character basis. Talk, be friends, preferably not commit seriously to relationships too soon. See what you want to do and be in life first. When the right one comes along you will know it.

When we resolve to hurt, this is when we resolve to fail.

But how do you prevent kids from growing up too fast?

It's the in thing these days to inform kiddies of all the things awaiting their arrival into adulthood at a very young age.... thinks like sex, marriage, alcohol, jobs, taxation, death, reruns of the Patridge Family. The theory is that informing them will prevent them from experimenting in order to find out for themselves what these things are like... and trust me a thirteen year old girl exposed to the Partridge Family is not a pretty sight.

Personally I'm not too sure about this notion of deliberately exposing kids to the pitfalls of adulthood... it kinda puts a downer on the whole childhood experience.

Anna, i think that before you get into a relationship, it is key to know where you both stand doctrinally. i mean, there might be parts of scripture that you dont agree on (like predestination, or free will) that won't effect a positive relationship. but let's say that you disagree on how someone achieves salvation (maybe one of you thinks baptism is necessary while the other sees that as basing salvation on earthly works), this might be a HUGE problem (depending on how you both handle yourselves). Remember, your first responsibility is your dedication to God. You cannot compromise any part of that for a relationship with a man.
Also, i think it is important that both Christians are on the same page spiritually. If he is not as spiritually grounded as you, this could lead to pulling you away from you relationship with Christ (this would NOT be okay.) You both need to be "equally yoked" in your relationships with God.

btw, the man in question is a Christian, isn't he?...because otherwise i would seriously reconsider a romantic relationship with him...

hope none of that sounded too harsh or abrupt... =)

True Relationships are of the heart. The heart does not know or recognizes that you are a christian, buddhist or atheist. All religious labels are from the mind and the mind is the problem because it cannot be in the moment. It is always either in the past or the future.
The very first thing is to have a relationship with yourself. Love yourself, accept yourself and be happy always in the present moment. Enjoy life fully and completely.
A person who is one with himself and can live joyfully in any and every situation is "christ-like" or "buddha-like". You cannot have any true relationship with anybody unless you are true to yourself first.
Once you know yourself totally and you can be alone with yourself, then just like a bee is attracted to a flower, someone will be attracted to your energy. There is a connection and it comes naturally without any effort on your part or the other. The bee and the flower become one. Ying and Yang are united in perfect harmony.

"Once you accept all your responsibilities in its totality,
you become mature.
You stop throwing tantrums and
you stop seeking messiahs.
Then there is no need for any Jesus to save you.
Nor can any Jesus save you -
he was exploiting your situation." --- Osho

Anna, i have read every post here and thought..Everything for me is pointing to the good sense for you to go with expressyour self..It is said , even the longest journey begins with the first step..You took that first step by asking christians for cj[hristian advice and or opinions,a massively positive step..Look at it this way,had you not wanted to ask you would not have come,now you have heard diametricly opposing ideas from two girls but the ultimate choice is up to you,it is not in anyway predestined..
I see no reason to decide at your age,what if down the road you meet a very devout young man who has been brought up to expect his bride to be virgin???

Well I've decided I will be a virgin bride. haha But I understand.
Thankyou, I know if I'm confused or not sure to ask and who better then the ones who share my values as a christian. This subject has just really been bugging me lately. haha It's like no one around me really knows much about christian relationships (my christian friends). But some of my friends have had relationships but they have not lasted because, well for many reasons but the whole idea of a relationship just seems so foreign to me and I don't want it to be but I don't want to have a relationship for this reason, (to know what a relationship would be like for me). It's stupid to have a relationship for the sake of having someone that loves you, to boost your confidence when they say you're beautiful, to determine your worth, to have experience. I know that and that's not why I'm saying all of this and just being confused, gosh I am haha.

I guess it all comes down to not wanting to make a mistake and ruining something I treasure, to know something I know nothing about and to have help in making the right decisions.

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in love, in life, in faith and in purity."
- 1 Timothy 4:12