I had to write in the style of Bill Byrson an American writer who i'm not entirely familiar with. Anyway...heres the final product:

I had many heroes as a kid from Clint Eastwood in what seemed like a never ending western to Steve McQueen jumping barbed wire fences in The Great Escape.. One in particular really caught my attention and I would frequently imagine myself as Indiana Jones complete with the jacket and hat, alas I wasn’t trusted with anything resembling the iconic whip so it was left up to my own imagination. Of course some times it went to my head and I’d find myself trying to recreate a particular scene such as the Temple of Doom” where Indiana, accompanied by ‘Willie’ Scott, leap out of a window. In reality Harrison Ford nor Kate Capshaw did that stunt but it didn’t transfer. I found myself jumping from our silver birch tree with only ornamental bamboo sticks to break my fall.
A visit to the hospital was calling , and I spent what seemed to be the longest ten minute of my life in the x-ray machine whilst a caffeine pumped nurse told me to sit still “else it won’t”.
She had already assured me that nothing appeared to be broken. The x-ray confirmed her suspicions but I milked it all the same. She gave me that age old “we had to be sure but you don’t mind really?!”. What sort of reply was she expecting? “oh of course I didn’t mind sitting under that monstrosity of a machine whilst you barked orders at me from behind a screen. No, really it was no problem at all thinking I’d be a cripple for life”. Needless to say I wasn’t a big fan. Since then I’ve never been keen on hospitals.
The thing about hospitals is that they say if you haven’t got it when you go in, you’ve got it by the time you’ve come out and they are usually right. It was roughly another ten years until I returned. The haggard looking nurse was replaced by a younger more enthusiastic Doctor. The type of doctors or nurses can vary- grumpy doctors, or grumpy nurses and vice versa, senile doctors, arrogant doctors, incompetent doctors. These were the sorts you prayed you’d never encounter, so this did not fill me full of confidence. Of course, by then my hero had swayed from Ford to Schwarzenegger, who was almost superhuman. My imagination was once again at fault for my latest accident. At the time it seemed the daring and dangerous thing to do, leaping from your tree house in a fit of bravado only to hear a soft “CRACK” when I made contact with the floor. It seemed my career as a stuntman was short lived. It seemed fate just didn’t agree with my future plans and he worked extremely quickly to squash them.

__________________________

Bookmark/Search this post with:

| | | | | |