Fits better here maybe?

I wasn't meant to walk this world without you - Kelly Clarkson - Maybe.

What you describe is not usual, but sad to say nor rare as well in Germany. Such student's misbehaviour can not be overcome without the support of the parents. If they think, that their kid hasn't done any wrong, there is nothing you can do. The small comfort I can give you is, that the parents (and the kid) are spoiling her life and not yours.
So try to cope with it, don't take it personally. Most likely the kid doesn't really mean you. She wants to demonstrate that she is a special person and she pinpointed you as an aim to show that - to herself and to her peers.

Behavior is communication.

The parents seem to be ignoring this, and to their and their child's detriment, but that doesn't mean you must. It doesn't mean what you need to do next will be easy, but patience can play a large role in how this all turns out.

A lot of people don't believe it, but children and adolescents not only need but *want* limits to be set. Allowing such freedom as these parents do sets kids adrift into a sea of confusion and even despair. If you can "listen" over time to what the girl is trying to tell you, and with actions (not just words) communicate to her that you are someone she can talk to AND that what she says and feels has validity, importance and value, you could start to see results. And believe or not, not punishing or disciplining her for some acts can actually work to your advantage. She is trying to get your attention and she's got it, now let's see what she does with it.

You could select her to help you out with things (as opposed to just assigning the helpful and polite kids to these tasks) and look for her positive traits to comment on--not in an extraneous way and not necessarily with standard words of praise (at least not at first)--simple acknowledgement is often enough. The trick is to get her to hear the praise and acknowlegement without realising she is hearing it.

Do you know of any of her interests? Perhaps you can try to incorporate some of them into your lesson plans. Is she having difficulty with any of the work? Even if all the other kids are doing fine, she isn't all the other kids. Everyone has a different learning style and as teachers we are required to bend our practises to teach the kids; they should not have to twist their learning styles to suit the way we teach. Cliche as it sonds, rewards and positive reinforcement also can work wonders, but they have to be kept balanced. A kid who is rewarded 30 times a day starts to feel unchallenged and that the rewards mean less. On the other hand, too few could make the goal seem so far out of reach that she becomes resentful.

If by chance she comes from a different ethnic background and language use might be an issue, you could discuss this with the parents. Re-inforce that the way the child is asked to write the mainstream language (if this is applicable here, of course) is not because it is superior to the way they would write or speak it, but merely that she is being taught to use it as a tool. Stress that understanding how this tool works is a benefit she can use to her advantage while still engaging her own language or dialect of the mainstream language in personal contexts.

I would agree with you when you say children ought to be held accountable for their behavior. At the same time, however, much of their behavior comes from what they see at home as the norm, as well as the messages they can from parents who can be lazy, uninformed or uninvolved. It could be she does this to the parents and they can't deal with it and so blow you off, or they think she is an angel. If you can somehow get them to see all of you as members of a team, they might start helping you out, even if in the beginning they do so in "small" ways. Just hearing you out (and that would include your plans on how to proceed) might very well be a good start, so that both you and they aren't responding to the girl in different ways and by different sets of rules--that can be confusing, even to a girl that age. When she starts to get more realistic messages from you (re: proper social and interpersonal behavior, e.g.) and they are backed up at home, it could have a huge impact on her.

There's a funny book you might want to read called _Educating Esme_ by Esme Raji Codell. It's the diary of a first-year teacher and deals with kids slightly younger, but I believe it could help you develop more thoughts on how to proceed.

I hope this helps...

Democrat Maxine Waters: "Under the outstanding leadership of Mr. Frank Raines everything in the 1992 Act has worked just fine. In fact, the GSEs have achieved their housing goals. What we need to do today is focus on the regulator, and this must be done in a manner so as not to impede their affordable housing mission."

Democrat Frank Raines is Barack Obama's economic advisor. He said: "These assets are so riskless that their capital for holding them should be under 2%."

"[Earnings to] Mr. Raines: 1.1 million$ bonus and a 526,000$ salary."
Cost to American people: 700 billion$.

Watch the clip and see the Democrats tell you in their own words:
http://www.talk2rusty.com/notes.html

I think it's better if they speak up, say those things directly to the teacher, but only if they mean it. Then there can be a conversation.
Or as a teacher, you can punish them for writing such things. Make them write an essay about what a good or bad teacher is..

Daar is de lente, daar is de zon bijna, maar ik denk dat ze weldra zal komen. De fallus impudicus staat al in bloei En de blaadjes krijgen bomen. M'n vrouw en m'n kat zijn allebei krols en de klokken vertrekken naar Rome

We cannot please everyone all of the time. Your job is to teach what you know and try to reach each student with your knowledge. The opinions they form of you or any other person in their surroundings, should not be your worries. We cannot control the way people think, believe or act. By being concerned and voicing your opinions about these situations shows how great of a teacher you are, other than that there is not much you can do. I do believe especially in instances like these the phrase, 'the apple doesn't fall far from the tree' certainly applies. No worries and don't give up, they certainly will have won then.

When we resolve to hurt, this is when we resolve to fail.

Thanks for all the comments! At the beggining of my career I truly believed that I was the decisive element in the classroom. That it was my daily mood that made the weather according to the quotation i liked a lot. It also said that as a teacher I possessed a tremendous power to make a child's life miserable or joyous. I could be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration. I could humiliate or humour,hurt or heal....During the years of working at school I've come to a frightening conclusion that I am not a decisive element at all. I am just a human being sick and tired of misbehaviour, tired of trying to understand everybody who dares curse you, who has problems at home and so on. Right, I do come to teach first of all. There are many bright students at our school as well who say they hate the ones who always interrupt the lesson. But such children have no rights! Nor have their parents.
I am an adult and have to find the way to solve problems that appear. The saddest thing is I can't influence the parents who are formed personalities already and misbehave with their children themselves making rude behaviour a norm at home.
Many teachers just leave or cry somewhere in the corner when hurt or even pushed but i've made my mind not to. I'll keep looking for the best ways out to de-escalate the crisis that appear. But won't have humiliation - if there appears another case like that, I am sure to take the case to court.

I can relate to how you feel when you say it is as if the behaving children's rights are usurped by the troublemakers. I don't know if this will help anything, but I have seen cases in which parents of the "good" kids made a big fuss about their child being subjected to an atmosphere in which the kid cannot learn, etc. And it seems only when parents become the "squeaky wheel" do they get the grease. I guess they just have to be more persistant than the other parents (or kids) to get people to pay attention to their own children's legitimate and rightful needs. I realise that is a sorry state, and it makes you understand better why being a hands on parent seems so much harder these days. I don't know if it really is, but it seems like it.

Democrat Maxine Waters: "Under the outstanding leadership of Mr. Frank Raines everything in the 1992 Act has worked just fine. In fact, the GSEs have achieved their housing goals. What we need to do today is focus on the regulator, and this must be done in a manner so as not to impede their affordable housing mission."

Democrat Frank Raines is Barack Obama's economic advisor. He said: "These assets are so riskless that their capital for holding them should be under 2%."

"[Earnings to] Mr. Raines: 1.1 million$ bonus and a 526,000$ salary."
Cost to American people: 700 billion$.

Watch the clip and see the Democrats tell you in their own words:
http://www.talk2rusty.com/notes.html

Well, sure parents should be more active to assure normal environment for their children to study and stay at. The ones that misbehave should see the result of their actions and take the concequences.
I think there are more civilized ways to express anger rather than cursing a teacher or kicking the door of the classroom or beating a friend. Pity some children are not taught those civilized ways at home. I love my students but hate some of their behaviour and am very firm to set the limits and if they continue breaking the rules they face the logical ending of one event or another. It isn't the punishment that is important but seeing the concequences is and influences a person most.
We are responsible for the way we act after all.

I think that kids will always express their thoughts one way or another.... it is hard to teach kids especially at that age cos they can be so hurtful with their comments but personally i would jus have forgot about it cos all kids hate authourity and probly hate all their school teachers.... i would have not informed their parents unless they acted on the hate rather than jus words .... i wouldnt take it to heart that they had a personal vendetta against me

Every blade of grass has its angel that bends over it and whispers, 'Grow, grow.'

Catmania, I agree with 100%, When I teach, the people must pay, because once they learn English they will receive more money on their job. If I decide I don't want to teach this student I can turn the contract down and that student is out of luck. This is a great way to be serious about your education. Far too many school and school boards are becoming very lazy. And SOME of the parents are just as bad!!

THE CHRISTIAN LIFE WITHOUT PRAYER IS LIKE COMPUTER HARDWARE WITHOUT THE SOFTWARE!!!!!

Let them express their thoughts one way or another but that should not have anything to do with insulting others,no matter teachers or their classmates. I don't think pretending as if nothing has happened is a good way to solve the problem as the problem is not just about me being insulted but about other issues as well. If i feel hurt I will always tell the one who made me feel like that the way I feel otherwise they might think there's nothing wrong in insulting others. Parents should also be informed the way their kids act to talk to them, to influence them and help to see them what's wrong and right. Kids hate authority?? So what's to be done about that? Does it mean they also hate their parents as they are also kind of authority? Kids must have limits and responsibility for what they do,say and write otherwise they will have big problems themselves in future if they are unable to behave according to the social norms.