Mailfriends.community - Fun, Jokes & Comedy Channel

Jokes here - please post your jokes in this topic.

†αmα_dαvε — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 14:03:40 +0100

This topic is to be used for the posting of jokes only. Do not post jokes anywhere else in this channel.

This is why men don't want to answer questions

LADY IN RED — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 07:33:23 +0100

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!

WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

Guy walks into a bar

joby — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 00:21:39 +0100

Guy wants into a local and does a double take.

Guy: That looks like Bush and Cheney.

Bartender: It is. Been here all afternoon. Didn't you notice all the guys in suits hanging around outside.

Guy walks over and tells them how delighted he is to meet them.

Guy: What you guys doing?

Bush: Planning WWIII

Guy: Huh

Cheney: We are going to kill 140 million muslims and a blonde with big tits

Guy: A blonde with big tits?

Cheney to Bush: See, I told you nobody cared about 140 million muslims.

The Harley-Davidson Facts

LADY IN RED — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 08:44:54 +0100

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson , died and went to heaven.

At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. 'Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles
have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven.'

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, ' I want to hang out with God.'

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.

God recognized Arthur and commented, 'Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson
motorcycle? '
Arthur said, 'Yeah, that's me...'

God commented: 'Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise

Free drinks for everyone

complicated — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 16:17:03 +0100

One night, a drunk comes stumbling into a bar and says to the bartender: "Drinks for all on me including you, bartender." So the bartender follows the mans orders and says: "That will be $36.50 please." The drunk says he has no money so the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.
The next night the same drunk comes in again and orders a drink for everyone in the bar including the bartender. Again the bartender follows instructions and again the drunk says he has no money. So the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.
On the third night he comes in, the drunk orders drinks for all except the bartender.

Ralph the jobless millionaire

M. — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 19:33:29 +0100

The auditor says, "Listen, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the ATO finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Ralph. "How about a demonstration?"

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay.
Go ahead."

Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."

The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."

Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it.

The auditor's jaw drops. Ralph says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."

Rearrange the letters

LADY IN RED — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 15:38:35 +0100

DORMITORY: